Mirror the attitude.
So often we meet someone important and want to remember their name, but forget it almost immediately afterwards. How frustrating! Don't be too hard on yourself. It's more common than you think. You're only human, and there is a reason why this happens.
Results from a psychology study by Eagly at al (1999) show that we remember or forget the names of our friends or enemies equally. Isn't that interesting. One would have thought that important stuff would stick.
An alternative approach is to try and understand the person, not focus on memorising the name at the expense of the conversation. Identify something they said, something emotional that has value to them, and mirror or reflect back this meaning to build connection. With understanding, the memory will follow (Jung & Reid, 2009).
Afterwards, don't be embarrassed. Just say: "Aha, I've forgotten your name, but I remember that you saved a kitten, or went to court to defend a speeding ticket, or whatever it was they spoke about." That way they know that they've been heard.
The best advice I can give is to ask them if they have a preferred nickname. "Aha, Francine, that's a nice name. Do you have a preferred nickname or do you just prefer Francine?" That way, you've upped your odds by hearing once and repeating twice.
If this still doesn't work, there is a word that helps you accept that it's not going to happen. The power word is: - "Whatever."
"whatever will be will be".
"Whatever comes my way, or doesn't come my way, I can deal with it."
Focus on what they're saying right now instead of dwelling on what name they called themselves earlier. We can refresh names again as soon as they stop talking and you have eye contact.
Sleep.
Poor sleep can definitely affect a person's ability to concentrate and stay focused during the day (Khazaie et al., 2016). Expecting a sharp memory on broken sleep is not realistic.
Have a Zen mind.
Look deeply at things as they are, as opposed to what you think they are.
The basic premise underlying mindfulness practices is that fully experiencing the present moment reduces anxiety for the future or regret for the past (Hofmann et al., 2010).
It helps to respond to stressful situations more reflectively rather than reflexively. Instead of asking "why" you have specific thoughts, just acknowledge that you've noticed that you have them, and look for ways to switch 'why' into "what."
Create predictable habits.
Save time and stress by keeping to regular routines and structures. Park in the same spot, keys in the same place, and choose the same seat every time. This helps the brain to focus on other, more immediate priorities (Manning et al., 2012).
Teach an old dog new tricks.
Think of something new you've always wanted to try, like learning how to play the guitar, make pottery, juggle, play chess, speak sign language. Any of these activities can help you improve your memory, so long as they keep you challenged and engaged.
Here's a really cool link if you want more tips.
And a cool video to watch
References.
Eagly, A., Chaiken, S., Chen, S., & Shaw-Barnnes, A. (1999). The impact of Attitudes on memory: An affair to remember. Psychological Bulletin. Vol 125, No. 1, 64-89. American Psychological Association.
Hofmann SG, Sawyer AT, Witt AA, Oh D. (2010). The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 2010;78(2):169-83. doi:10.1037/a0018555
Jung, Eun & Reid, Norman. (2009). Working memory and attitudes. Research in Science and Technological Education. 27. 205-223. 10.1080/02635140902853665.
Khazaie H, Ghadami MR, Masoudi M. (2016). Sleep disturbances in veterans with chronic war-induced PTSD. Journal of Injury and Violence Research. 8(2):99-107. doi:10.5249/jivr.v8i2.808
Manning JR, Kahana MJ. (2012). Interpreting semantic clustering effects in free recall. Memory. 20(5):511-517. doi:10.1080/09658211.2012.683010
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